That letter

I think it was last August, we went to Roning's, after spreading the ashes.. Oscar's new girlfriend seemed in a rush to go home, as "SHE" had to work next day... is it me or is people being rude at all times?? we just "buried" my brother, we don't even know you, and you are rushing Oscar away from us?? i understand that sentence "everyday i love more my cats"... anyhow... out of the blue.. Roning's girlfriend called me upstairs... and she handed me something that i absolutely forgot ages ago... it was a letter that i wrote to him, to Roning.. it was from 2003, when i came back from my first year in England... it's 10 pages long and i typed it with my old typewriter... i read the beginning, as 4 years and a half passed by.. tears fell as i started remembering... basically it was all the things that i held on my heart... i thought i never told him, i thought i never opened up... but i did.. he just never said a word about that letter.... i even told him when i first fell in love.. all the things that i thought i'd never say, i already wrote them...

She said he had the letter in the draw next to his bed.. she wondered what he must have thought those last days of his life...

we were ready to go, but i couldn't hold my tears... oscar was there, and i asked him if he read it.. he answered a vague yes... i didn't want to open the letter until i arrived home, as i wanted to cry on my own..

i will always wonder if oscar read the part where i talked about him... and if he ever felt sorry...

a year has gone by, and seems more than that..

Sue said that she read somewhere that WE choose the way we die.... and that we come to this life to accomplish a punishment, and when we die our soul gets free...